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Author Topic: Grand Opening Drabble Game  (Read 2810 times)

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Offline Secrets

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2012, 03:42:23 AM »
@Lily: Great work. I love your rich vocabulary and your flowing sentences. The only critique I have is to avoid the use of epithets.
@A6: It was adorable. I loved that there was a special connection between the parents and Tenzin. Though my only question is how did they know he was going to be an airbender? Or could Aang simply sense it?
@PSU: You did a nice job with the switching POVs and maintaining the separate voices of the characters. Just remember to capitalize "mom" and "dad" when you refer to them as a name.
@Glitch: askdjsalkdj Azula <333. The colors were used effectively for the flow of the poem. I loved this so much because it was well-written, and the structure is marvelous. My favorite line is "Knock knock./I'd forgotten the sound of people."

Thanks Glitch and A6! :3

Offline Water Lily

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2012, 04:04:18 AM »
Great job, Glitch and Secrets! Brilliant!

@Glitch: Why must you be so perfect?!? It was such a heart touching piece. The adjectives....OMG excellent!!!!! Loved it so much!!! ^^'
@Secrets: Thank you so much for the advice. I really appreciate it. Your story was really awesome. I especially loved how you shaped it to fit so much like Azula's character. Fantastic! :3


~To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.~

Offline Secrets

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2012, 04:21:26 AM »
Thanks Lily! Though the inspiration was not based on her character, now that I think about it, it does fit her.

Offline Glitch

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2012, 04:53:49 AM »
awwwwwww<3
Thanks Lily, that means a lot. I really appreciate it.
<< Post Merge: December 13, 2012, 04:54:09 AM >>


You guys are inspiring me to write mini reviews for everyone too lol

Offline bruisedreed

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2012, 05:26:11 AM »
They were all wonderful. I'm speechless.

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Offline A6

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2012, 12:18:14 PM »
@A6: It was adorable. I loved that there was a special connection between the parents and Tenzin. Though my only question is how did they know he was going to be an airbender? Or could Aang simply sense it?

Thanks Secrets - there is one little phrase in the drabble that Tenzin sneezed a mighty sneeze that was clearly air bender intensity - that was the telltale sign! :3
« Last Edit: December 13, 2012, 05:10:02 PM by A6 »
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Offline PSUKFB92

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2012, 03:35:12 PM »
Thanks all who read my work. :)
ATLA keeps: Kataang hug from The Serpent's Pass, Sokka's DoBS WT armor, Katara's water skins, Appa, Azula's lightning.

LoK keeps: Asami's electric glove, Bolin's seaweed noodles, Korra's hat trick in the pro-bending tournament, Lin Beifong's police uniform, the waterfall behind Tarrlok's desk.



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Offline MasterFirebender84

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #27 on: December 15, 2012, 12:22:10 AM »
Title: Looking Towards the Future
Author: MasterFirebender84
Rating: K
Word count: 395
Info/Author's Notes: The age of the Avatar never truly ends; rather, it is told in chapters. With the ending of one chapter, there comes the beginning of the new chapter. With the passing of one Avatar, comes the rise of the new Avatar.

Looking Towards the Future (click to show/hide)   The somberness and utter sorrow that seemed to envelop the world was all too tangible and all too real the moment the funeral pyre was set ablaze. Cries of grief and mournful anguish rose into the starry night sky along with the crackle and roar of the flames, the monstrous fire licking and reaching up towards the heavens with burning fingers.

   Though his heart was heavy with turbulent emotions, the son of the deceased turned to face the massive crowd, gathering up what little strength he had left in order to speak.

   “The world has suffered a terrible loss,” he began, his voice cracking ever so slightly, like ice beginning to crack. Despite his own inner turmoil, he made sure that his voice was heard amongst the crowd. He had to be strong for all those his father left behind.

   Especially his mother.

   “We will never forget what he has done for the world,” he continued, gesturing to the pyre. “We will never forget what he and all of his friends have done to ensure the peace and balance of this world. We will never forget any of his deeds, no matter how great or how small.”

   With a tone of firm finality, he declared, “We will never forget Avatar Aang.”

   As he uttered those words, the wind seemed to stir all around the crowd, as if enveloping them in an embrace that only a loved one could give to a saddened child.

   But the son knew that embrace all too well, and he could not stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks.

   “There is still hope for the world,” the son continued, not wiping away his tears as he spoke. He was not ashamed to grieve, to shed tears for the man whom he had the utmost respect and love for. “With the passing of one Avatar comes the rise of the next Avatar.”

   Gesturing to the north and south, he proclaimed, “Let us now look to the Water Tribes, both North and South, for the coming of the new Avatar. Let us look to a new horizon, to a new chapter of the Avatar. And I, Councilman Tenzin, will personally train the new Avatar in Airbending when the time is right. This, I swear upon my Airbending heritage, and upon my father’s memory.”

   And somewhere in the Spirit World, Tenzin’s father smiled.



Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want.

- General Iroh, the Dragon of the West -

Offline Water Lily

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #28 on: December 15, 2012, 12:39:05 AM »
No words, MasterFirebender. I'm sure yours has touched the hearts of many, if not all. It was truly beautiful. :3


~To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.~

Offline Cowboy Colt

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #29 on: December 15, 2012, 12:41:20 AM »
No words, MasterFirebender. I'm sure yours has touched the hearts of many, if not all. It was truly beautiful. :3
I agree with Lily!

keeps and quotes (click to show/hide)
 ATLA keeps: Kataang lovemaking, "MY CABBAGES " line, Aangs quiet badassness
Main theme (click to show/hide)
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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #30 on: December 15, 2012, 01:53:42 AM »
No words, MasterFirebender. I'm sure yours has touched the hearts of many, if not all. It was truly beautiful. :3

Offline A6

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Re: Grand Opening Drabble Game
« Reply #31 on: December 16, 2012, 07:14:15 PM »
MFB, I got the time to read your excellent, heart grabbing tale of Tenzin lighting the funeral pyre and promise to the future. Well done, good to see you back in action writing again!
signatures - gift from my talented friends Water Lily and Honey Badger :3

 

       
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